Diary of a haggard mother-Cute birthday wishes

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my little poppits

It’s still monday, which means I’ve just made it to link up with olivers mad house to share this magic moment!

The title of this post sounds innocent enough I know, but don’t be fooled by those cute looking faces, (ok maybe just a bit!)

Recently it was my birthday, I had a great day and any mum loves cards from her kids don’t they? well how about this one:

Roses a red, violets are blue, poo is brown and so are you!

Don’t you just love my darling littlehorrorspoppits, they’ve sure got this mumma wrapped right around those cute little fingers!

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Diary of a haggard mother: mothers day memories

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I always seem to keep my cards out for as long as possible, but today I started to move them to make way for our Easter wishes. My card from my youngest caught my eye and I remembered her little poem and figured I would share it with you.

She’s quite the poet, but not so much a conventional one!

roses are red, violets are blue, (sorry about this), I like to pee in the toilet, so you should too!

from Hollie, p.s some mummy fun!

Diary of a haggard mother: my cheeky little valantine!

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SAM_0300

Ok, so Valantines day is a time to spread the love right? well my cutie pie youngest thinks so and sent me this adorable poem:

roses are red

violets are blue

if you love me

I love you!

cute huh!

On the flip side, my cheeky little man sends his poor old mum, aka me, this not so adorable ode:

Roses are red

and violets are blue

if you eat too much

you’ll get a big Bum

like mum!

Oh well guess you can’t win em all!

Kids God love em!

Diary of a haggard mother: Oh the joy of the dentist!

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A trip to the dentist is always something I dread but it’s the waiting room that really gets my goat!

See something always goes down when my littlepoppits hit the scene, and our latest visit was no different!

My eldest heads for the joke book to continually recite jokes to all in earshot and many who are not! (kinda cute I guess). Meanwhile my boy has spotted the water machine and what with the lady next to him tutting and the pool of water on the floor, looks like he’s on cup 10 at least!

What to do, well right or wrong I told a porky, I quietly whispered that there was a camera connected to the police station watching and anymore messing around and we would probably get put in jail! That seemed to work and he moved away from the water machine pretty quick! So I was hopeful that I was looking like a good mum in control.

Not a chance, a quick glance to my left and my youngest is scoffing sweets she’s smuggled in past me!

Oh well. Kids god love em.

Diary of a haggard mother: Please god not another sick bug!

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my little poppits

Why does the dreaded sick bug always hit fast and without warning?

Surrounded by three very green looking littlepoppits you kinda know the sick bug has hit our gaff!

So armed with disinfectent, scrubbing brushes, n bowls let battle commence. I’m ready for ya!

Fighting talk I know but it doesn’t matter how many bowls I put by in our pad, my lot never use them, oh no. My darling littlehorrorspoppits much prefer any other place and are particularly attracted to my cream lounge carpet, which always takes a battering!

Anyways things were lookin up, all bases covered n clean. Then Nooooooooooooo my boy’s been hiding behind the sofa eating toast!

It took about 60 seconds and boom yeah enough said don’t you think!

Kids God love em!

Diary of a haggard mother: ‘I-spy warning!’

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omg! I have so got to be more careful when playing I-spy.

You may say that I spy would be a lovely game to play with the kids, well sure you’d be right, but not in our gaff oh no, my littlehorrorpoppit sure messed that one up, here’s what happened:

Lets set the scene, I’m with my boy, were talking school trip, train ride and teachers (lot’s). So I’m thinking this is a good time for I-spy, how wrong I was!

Me: “I spy with my little eye something beginning with f”

Take a guess; forest, fun, fast train, you know the usual stuff nothing too hard right?

But no, my darling littlehorrorpoppit aint picking none of these oh no and says in his most angelic and very loud voice: “f**k mummy?”

Yeah I know cute huh!, so after scraping myself off the floor, I replied no sweetheart I was thinking farm ok! then very quietly (where did you get that word from-well mum your always saying not to say the f word and it just popped into my head). Great knew it would be my fault!

So let this be a warning to you, I-spy is not always a safe bet!

Kids god love em!

Diary of a haggard mother: a visit from the green eyed monster!

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my littlehorrorspoppits like crazy, but I can’t stand their mate the green-eyed monster one iota, especially on his most recent visit!

It all started when……….

My gorgeous 9 month old nephew came to stay for the day.

My mini diva loves these visits, but only in small doses and it was only a matter of time before a mini diva tantrum erupted, and she was off to her room where it was quiet!, shouting that she is the baba mio of the family. (don’t know what she means either!)

My 9-year-old was soo soo good with him but, at the end of the day, when there was nothing left for me to do but walk around with said baby, comes “you never do that with me, you only care about the baby!” gees!

It was only my boy who didn’t take a hit from the monster, but then again he was just happy that he was getting away with playing his games console way much more than he should!

All in all we had a blast and it was cool to have a baby in the house again, but I could have done without the green-eyed monster tagging along!…that geezer has a lot to answer for!

So after explaining that my mini diva would always be my baba mio! and that would my 9-year-old really want me to carry her around the house? We prized my son off his games console, had a group hug and shut the door tight on that monster. Phew!

kids god love em!

Diary of a haggard mother: Oh crap I’m getting old!

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There’s nothing like kids to remind you that you may be getting older quicker than you thought, and my darling little poppits are no different!

I have heard myself say all the things my mum used to say to me like “I would never have spoken to my mother like that!” and some which my mum never said, like “get your feet off the table!!!!” (I know but my kids are crazy)

But now I’ve gotton concrete proof that I am getting old!

As a last-minute kid free shop before half term, did I hit the shops for some much needed retail therapy?

No, I hit the shops desperate to get my mitts on the latest aerosol stain remover!

Uggh help I really am an old haggard mum, but boy does my laundry sparkle!

kids God love em!

Diary of a haggard mother: My little salesman!

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Since my last post my boy has finally gotton a great wobble on his front tooth!

He is so happy, it’s pretty much all he talks about. So I wasn’t to surprised to hear this cute little story:

He’s learning the recorder at the moment and should remember to take his book to his lesson, but he forgot so he says to the teacher “how much are the books?” who replied “£5.99”.

My little salesman then thought about this before saying, “tell you what can we call it £1 cos my tooths gonna come out real soon and I’ll get that from the tooth fairy, so I’ll give it to you and I can have a new book!”

I reckon the kids got style and if he can haggle with his teacher at 7 the sky’s the limit when he grows up!

He has promised that he’ll buy his old mum some diamond earings when he hits the big time, cute huh and I’m kinda counting on it!

Kids God love em!

Diary of a haggard mother: Pulling a fast one on the tooth fairy!

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Ok so my girls are losing a lot of teeth right now and have been visited loads by the tooth fairy. But my son has not been so lucky!

He’s got teeth like a dolphin and, a few slight wobbles aside, they aint going nowhere just yet! So I guess he has been feeling a bit glum to not have any £1 coins yet! (that’s how our tooth fairy rolls!)

So after school I was surprised to be presented with a tooth and a wide open mouth ready for inspection! There’s not much fooling us mums and knowing it wasn’t his I asked what had happened.

The story goes that he found it by the lunch boxes at school!

It seems there was a lot of competition going on with the other kids about whose tooth it was and, in the end my boy got lucky as his teacher deemed it to be his!

So I told him you’ve gotta be kidding me, pulling a fast one on the tooth fairy like that is so not cool, come on!, some poor kid must be very upset!

Then comes,  “But mum can’t I put it under my pillow anyway, I might get a coin?”, ” No son you can’t, I like your style but there’s no fooling the tooth fairy!”

Phew, the said tooth is now back at school, and will hopefully go to the right owner this time!

As for my son I reckon he’s gonna be a salesman or something when he grows up as he sure can spin a yarn!

Kids God love em!